Strangers

My family have become strangers to me. I've just been looking at photos of my sister on Facebook, and feel quite alarmed at our prospects for late December when we go to visit her and her family in New Zealand - I barely recognise her. I mean I grew up with her for such a long time, and even though we almost never got on, we were at least close family members. Now, living here, nowhere near any remaining immediate member of my family, I'm consciously aware of how isolated I am from any community around me. I wonder how much that's contributed to my woes this year. I look back at Brad, who retains such a closely knit unit of family and friends around him, and find nothing similar on my side.

Don't get me wrong I am fully aware of how important my friends are. This year a handful of them quite literally saved my life. But these are disparate ties, which I had to draw on individually. I'm aware that in just four weeks time we'll be visiting family members who are no longer familiar. They'll be as important as they have been in recent years, particularly my nieces, but they'll be at a distance. As much as I might have longed for that in the past, it won't be a comfortable thing.