Older

Touchy
Originally uploaded by lewishamdreamer.

Maybe it's the ever increasing number of grey eyebrows, the now profusion of grey chest hairs or the wrinkles developing now around my eyes, but I've finally started to see concrete signs that I'm getting older. I'll grant you 36 isn't old by any reasonable measure, but youthfulness has drifted from me in a significant way this year. I'm not talking about the hairs which refuse to stop growing in the ears (I love being in my late 30s), it's more a feeling of having been kicked hard enough by life to not think first of the easy, enjoyable choices anymore. The hard ones remain at the top of the agenda even though I'm often far too lazy to pursue them.

I'm not sad about this change, although my changed, less automatically happy attitude has caught some people by surprise. I think I'm taking on attributes of my father other than the appalling body hair you can see in the picture. Where I would try to suffer fools for the greater good I'm now completely dismissive, regardless of the short term cost. Life's simply too short to be upset constantly by people who ultimately don't care a bit about you. I guess I don't think about how fanciable I am that much nowadays easier, whereas for a spell in my early 30s it was a real preoccupation. Maybe that's because I'm married now...married...and the fear of being left behind is slowly becoming a thing of the past.

The average age of my friends has doubled in the last year - almost all of whom are in permanent relationships and one of whom has a child of his own. I don't think I'll be going down that route with Tom although you never know. I'm quite content to be the favourite uncle for now. It does slightly make me wonder though what my priorities will be when I'm in my forties though - and they're just around the corner. Strange thought - my mother never made it out of her forties...is time flying by so quickly?

I wonder if I should do a photographic project around the theme of age.