Sunday, April 23, 2006


For some weeks now I've been waking up with this mental ache. I have almost no way to describe it other than this feeling of having to do something creative. I'm writing this with some pretention to gaining and sharing some understanding of it, although the truth is I'm wandering through this post. Maybe that's a good thing, maybe I should just see where my thoughts go when I open them up like this.

Today our MP is due to visit our development, chaperoning our local councillors who are up for election in a fortnight's time. I don't so much want to meet her and them, or quiz them about crime rates or public transport, such as wanting to photograph them. Since I took that photo of Brian Haw I've felt almost consumed by wanting to reach my potential with portrait photography again, or even surpass it. Getting the opportunity with faces which will get a reaction isn't easy. You know I guess it's not just a feeling of wanting to outdo that, it's a feeling of wanting to prove I can do this:


and show that it wasn't just a one off. I've had this feeling since I started DSLR photography. I've taken photos which have been so well received by genuinely big talents that I've been almost scared by my achievements. I don't know where this one came from any more than the other really good ones I've done, but they keep happening. I think George Michael sort of expressed it well last night: you know that you're good at what you do, but you constantly retain this feeling that you have to do better. In my case I have to keep reminding myself that I have to keep perfecting crawling and walking before I can run.

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